At_Home_In_Hell_-_At_Home_In_Hell_coverI want to go to Hell when I die…Why? Because I am most comfortable there, I grew up in Hell, I met Satan…Hell I lived with him for 18 years, I just called him DAD…But the most important reason I want to go to Hell when I die is…
That is where a person like me belongs, not in the after world where everyone has made a mends for their past transgression, cause I haven’t, I haven’t even mad a mends for my past non-transgression…but that is for another story…
I am nothing but a bad seed, nothing but a sour cup of milk. Dead animal on the side of the road, the ones that people look at and feel sorry for…I am nothing. Hell would be a nice place to go home too, at least I would be able to handle myself…be able to stand up for myself. Defend myself. Right now I am just a fish out of water, clinging to whatever life I can…
I cut myself to just feel…I cut myself just to see if I am a real person, not just a robot or some sort of alien…I bleed red blood, not blue or green. I just wish that I could stop hurting the ones that I love the most. I am a lost cause. That is what I belong in the real HELL. The one that burns, the one that sucks you in and takes all the love, air, breath that you breathe and makes it into something that you recognize…something that you can feel and call your own.
I am nothing but dead inside, nothing but one big problem after another and that is harming my family more than I want, more than I can control…Anger is my friend and I welcome the company.
I just want to go home…I want to go back to where I should be…I want to go to…
HELL

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