blurI don’t know where to start this…it has been 2 years since I last wrote something on this. A lot of things have changed and a lot has stayed the same. I have grown in many ways, learning day by day to love myself. Learning to be okay with who I am, but I still struggle with both of those.  I still battle with the voices in my head, they are a constant. I don’t mind them as much as I use to, they are comforting for the most part.

I am, however struggling with a new issue, Anxiety!  That should really be a four letter word.  I get really sick to my stomach going out in public. If I have a destination that I am going to I can manage that, even for the most part have fun. But I got a job, which I now have to quit (due to other circumstances) and I have had a huge burden lifted off of my chest. But then I have anxiety about not bringing in money to help with the bills. To help my husband who struggles every day with pain of RA. He’s a very strong man. I don’t want to disappoint him and let him down, I want to make things easier for him…so then I feel like I have failed at helping him.

So, the more things change the more they stay the same. Just when I think I have made some small steps forward I am reminded of the struggles that I have to overcome. I don’t mind fighting the good fight and going toe to toe with my demons, cause I know that I can do it…on most days. Like I said, a lot of things have changed and a lot has stayed the same. So if I start to ramble, like I seem to be doing, then you know that I am in a good place…really I am…if I have a one themed post then things are dark…that is when I am battling my demons, and they are probably winning.

So, with all that being said, I want to say thank you to all the people who read my ugly junk and some funny shit too! I can be funny when I try. I want you to know that I am truly thankful that you are here. You make what I fight for, go through and live with so much easier and I love you for that.

 

P.S. Have a wonderful day and I promise to do better about posting here. You all make my life worth doing.

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